Creamy and with that clean grandmother smell

like a little girl's dream of

what making up must feel like.

Shimmery of course, as the name suggests,

but not grainy like most sparkly shades

which are thick with glitter

like flour-heavy pancake batter.

The doctor prescribed something new,

warning me that it's known to cause nightmares, but

I don't know if I've ever dreamt something worse than real life.

Instead, the pills made me dream of the past

(which I suppose is slang for nightmare)

but I'm not afraid of things that are over, not anymore.

Anyway, the pills made me dream of Beige Shimmer.

I was in third grade when I started wearing lipstick daily.

Most kids in the global north have their clefts surgically repaired

before their eyes learn to focus

before they ever get to know themselves as broken,